Are We Really Attracted To Competent People?
March 13th, 2009. Published under Advice. No Comments.
All things being equal, experts generally agree that we tend to like competent people especially when they become relevant in our lives. This includes our parents, teachers, doctors, electrician, investment broker, auto mechanic, etc. The opposite is also true. As much as we are attracted to competent people, we are repelled from people who are candidates for the Darwin Awards.
When you become relevant in a person’s life, they will like you more or less based on your level of competence in the area where you’re relevant. If you’re an auto mechanic, they will judge you on your knowledge of cars. If you’re a teacher, they will judge you on your knowledge of the subject you teach and your ability to teach that subject. If you’re a potential spouse, they will judge you on a whole host of factors.
Here are a few things you can do to build your competence and likeability.
Do What You Do Better Than Anyone Else
Walt Disney was supposedly quoted as saying, “Do what you do so well, that people want to see you do it again. And not only do they want to see you do it again, but they want to show their friends what it is that you do so well.”
People who are experts in their field, don’t just act like experts, they are the experts. They do what they do so well that they create an overwhelming demand for their time and their service. They become trusted and well liked celebrities in their field.
The easiest way to be seen as an expert in your field is to become the expert in your field.
Earl Nightingale, the inspiration author of “The Strangest Secret,” noted that anyone could become an expert in a very short time. His premise was that if you focused on learning any single subject for an hour a day every day for a year, it would be the equivalent of going to class for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for almost two and a half months. If you did the same thing for 5 years, it would be the equivalent of going to class every day for a year.
According to Earl Nightingale, if you dedicated just one hour a day to the study of your passion, you would quickly find yourself in the top one tenth of one percent in your field in a very short time. And today, with universal access to the Internet, there is virtually no reason you can’t achieve that level of expertise if you decide to do it.
Look The Part
People who are experts in their field look the part. Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and Spider-Man are all good examples. They dress exactly like we expect a superhero to dress. They wouldn’t be believable if they didn’t.
I can’t put my finger on it, but I would have a hard time placing my trust in the Invisible Man if he ran around in his underwear. I would be just as disturbed seeing my doctor, accountant and plumber doing the same thing. If you want to be believable as an expert in your field, you must look like an expert in your field. That means dressing in a suit if you’re a banker and dressing with a hooded mask if you’re a tax collector.
You may remember the crash of Value Jet flight 592 on May 11, 1996. The flight was en route from Miami to Atlanta (a route I often flew) when the low cost carrier went down in the Everglades killing all 110 people on board. The thing I remember most when I heard about the accident was a promise I made to myself just a few months earlier.
After seeing the Value Jet cartoon logo painted on the tail of their planes, I made a promise that I would not fly Value Jet no matter how deeply they discounted their fares. I could not place my trust and my life in an airline that used a cartoon as their logo. It conveyed a feeling of cheep and dangerous, not fun and playful. If you want to be seen as credible, you must look the part.
Speak The Part
One of the easiest ways to look smart is to not look stupid. Mark Twain is quoted as saying, “It’s better to keep silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” This is great advice that has been ignored by well-known American political figures for years.
Here are a few examples of stupid things people have said that didn’t do much for enhancing their perception with the American public.
“If Lincoln were alive today, he’d roll over in his grave.”
Gerald Ford
“Outside of the killings, Washington D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
Mayor Marion Barry
“This is a great day for France.”
President Richard Nixon attending Charles de Gaulle’s funeral
“It’s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.”
V.P, Dan Quayle
If you’re not an expert on the subject being discussed, don’t try to pretend that you are an expert. There is nothing more irritating and off-putting than listening to someone speak with authority who has no knowledge of the subject. Have you ever watched a Congressional hearing on TV? Point, match, game!
And, if you do or say something that looks or sounds stupid, don’t try to hide it. No one likes a person who takes him or herself too seriously. On the contrary, we do like people who can laugh at themselves when they make a mistake.
Professional debaters understand this principle better than anyone. Here are the rules they lived and die by.
First - Don’t say anything stupid.
Second - Talk about what you know.
Third - Don’t say anything stupid.
There is a time to share what you know and there is a time to ask questions. Smart, competent people know the difference, and you do too.
Bob Sommers is the likeability guy. Learn how to become immediately more likable by signing up for Bob’s likeability e-class.